Thank You!

Friday, November 14 marks the end of my social media project. Friday, the final numbers will be tallied and the presentation handed in to my professor. Before I turn in the assignment, I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who helped and supported me throughout this project. I also wanted to let everyone know how some of my numbers are coming along.

I posted my first post to Fortitude, Grin & Grow on Wednesday, September 3.

Page Views:  Total number of pages viewed

• Personal Goal (September 3 - November 14):  4,000 or more page views
• September 3 - Morning of November 12:  3,404 page views

Pages Per Session:  Average number of pages viewed per session

• Personal Goal:  At least two or more per session, because it shows readers like the content and are engaged
• September 3 - Morning of November 12:  3.75 pages viewed per session

Bounce Rate:  People who only looked at one page. This is expressed as a percentage. The lower the percentage the better!

• Personal Goal:  10% or less, because the lower the number the higher the user engagement
• September 3 - Morning of November 12:  2.43%

Percentage New Sessions:  An estimate of the percentage of first time visits

• Personal Goal:  50 - 60% new visits show I am reaching new readers and capturing and retaining past readers
• September 3 - Morning of November 12:  59.87%

Geographic Goals:

• Personal Goal:  Readers in 50 states and at least 5 countries
• September 3 - Morning of November 12:  Readers in 46 states and 16 countries

I still have a little work to do in order to reach my personal and required goals - I still need 11 new LinkedIn connections and one LinkedIn recommendation. However, I am proud of the content I have created, the work I have done and the results I have received. Thank you so much to my family, old friends and new friends who have written guest posts and read, shared and commented on my posts. I appreciate your help more than you know.  

One of a Kind, By Guest Blogger Halie Frahm

I would like to introduce guest blogger, music lover, guitarist, percussionist, dancer, MDA Goodwill Ambassador, motivational speaker and my 13 year old niece to Fortitude, Grin & Grow... Halie Frahm. You are probably wondering why I asked a 13 year old to be a guest blogger. First, I believe we can learn something from absolutely everyone. To learn, we just need to listen and open ourselves up to the lessons. Second, about a month ago, I tagged along with my sister and niece to an MDA golf outing. In a room full of executives, Halie spoke eloquently about living with muscular dystrophy. She had the crowd laughing with her when she joked about getting leg braces and going from a woman’s size eight shoe to a man’s size 11. They empathized with her when she spoke about her first bully, cheered with her when she spoke about standing up to her bully, and beamed with pride when she spoke of her strong self esteem and sense of self. That day I was so proud of Halie. She spoke better and with more confidence than most adults. That speech got me thinking about society's idea of perfection and what I was like as a 13 year old. When I was 13, I wanted to be like the girls in the magazines and on television. However, like most 13 year old kids, I was made of sand. The slightest mean word or glare could cause me to crumble and second guess myself. How did my niece become so strong and self assured, so I asked her….

Tim Dwight, Halie Frahm & Del Heth

One of a Kind
Guest Blogger - Halie Frahm

Do you remember the first time you realized you were different? When I was a toddler, I enjoyed playing with my dog, splashing in the pool, and having fun. When I was in preschool I played with my friends, rode in a wagon to the local library, and enjoyed going to the petting zoo. I had no idea I was different. In kindergarten, I loved going to school and playing on the playground. It wasn't until first grade, when kids started saying things like “You're slow” or “HURRY UP ALREADY” and when I started to think something was different. I have known since I was three years old that I had muscular dystrophy. My family always worked with me on overcoming my muscle weakness in a manner that did not specifically target my differences; so truthfully I didn't know I was different than other kids. As I've gotten older my neuromuscular disease has progressed and I have gone through a lot of physical changes. My differences have become more apparent.  Recently, I had to get leg braces. One day I was discussing braces with an adult who also wears braces, and she mentioned she hides her braces. I told her I wear leggings and treat my braces like accessories.  I told her she needed to show her braces off. 

Not only do I have physical differences my interests are different. I like old music, I have the classic IPOD so I can play thousands of songs. I love Green Day and bands not many kids in my grade actually know, like AC/DC. I enjoy the old shows such as "The Beverly Hillbillies" and I read medical books. My family has always pushed me to be who I am, not someone different. When I struggle with other people's words or opinions, I'm reminded of what the world would be like if people wanted to learn about differences instead of continually pointing them out. Maybe next time someone is by themselves because they are walking slow, walk with them. If someone is saying or doing something you don't understand, ask don't judge. Your differences may be internal or external, but if anybody ever tries to make you feel bad about your differences remember this. 

Your differences make you who you are. 

That's what makes you one of a kind!

Are We Too Social? By Guest Blogger Justin Roberts

I would like to introduce guest blogger, Emmy Award winner, KGAN weatherman and a man I am proud to call my friend to Fortitude, Grin & Grow... Justin Roberts. I can’t tell you the exact moment when I met Justin. We probably first met at his station for a chef segment or some other PR related interaction. However, I can tell you the exact moment when Justin and I became friends.

On the surface, everyone can see that Justin is a talented, friendly, funny, charismatic man. For those of you who do not know Justin, he also has one of the biggest hearts I’ve seen. He’s always available to help a great cause, lift someone’s spirits and be there for a friend.

My niece met Justin when she was around six years old. She thought he was the coolest guy around, and they were pals from the start. When she was seven years old, she asked Justin to come over for dinner and to play. Justin drove from Cedar Rapids to Cedar Falls (a one hour drive) to hang out with her. She was so happy it made her week! That day he went out of his way to make a little girl happy, and that was the day I realized he was something special.

Thank you for being such a great friend to myself and my family.   



Halie (my niece) & Justin

Are We Too Social?
Guest Blogger - Justin Roberts



Almost everyone is on Facebook. We’re also on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Vine, YouTube, etc. Recent studies show that a majority of us use a smart phone as an alarm clock and the next thing we do (after hitting the bathroom and grabbing the first morning cup of coffee) is check our social media feed. We have to see what we missed. I mean, someone MIGHT have had a slice of cake that was nothing short of amazing and felt the need to share a picture. Or the GREATEST recipe for cookies was unearthed by a friend at 2:26 am while you were asleep, and you don’t want to be the last one to know about it, and you feel that you’d be doing the world a disservice if you didn’t share it with everyone that follows you at 6:22 am. Crisis averted!

Now I’m 30, which doesn’t make me old by ANY stretch of the imagination, but I remember a time when I didn’t have a smart phone. I didn’t even have a cellular phone. In fact, I was 18 before I got my first phone and believe you me, it was anything short of smart. It was one of those flip-phones that every 30 days, you had to buy a “refill card” with a long mix of letters and numbers and had to begrudgingly type in every single character correctly to have another 30 days of service.  Somewhere along the way, I’d usually enter a wrong number or letter, or transpose the position… this took, on average, three attempts and at least 10 minutes. There was no Facebook. There was no Twitter. There wasn’t even any texting. HOW did I survive?? I get anxious even thinking about it now.

Now flash forward to 2014. 5 and 6 year olds are walking around with smartphones. They have social media pages. Do you realize that since 2012, hardly a child in America is born without instantly having pictures being blasted around the world. A newborn American child has no privacy. At all. We’re celebrating 6 month birthdays… One month birthdays... We’re even celebrating Babies’ first poops!! Come on people Let’s take a step back and think: How would YOU feel if someone was constantly following you around with a camera or camcorder and sharing your every moment with the rest of the world? That’s got to be a little un-nerving to say the least

Businesses use social media to make themselves more accessible. I understand that. The Fresh Market down here in Cedar Rapids does a weekly feature on Tuesdays where they send all their followers exclusive deals. So does Target. HyVee. My television station uses social media for contests, promotions, news updates, etc. ALMOST EVERY ONE uses social media. The other day I got asked to add my parish priest, Father Reasoner, on Facebook. This lead to a moment of epiphany “Do I really want my priest to see everything I do on Facebook?” I mean, I’m the guy who goes to confession and absolutely HAS to sit behind the curtain, even though I know he recognizes my voice. It still makes me feel better. So as of this morning, my friends list on Facebook includes family members, former teachers, former co-workers, and four “Men of the Cloth”. It makes you stop and think about what you put out on Facebook, now doesn’t it

“So what is this long-winded guy building up to here?” you ask? It’s simple. When do we reach the point that we’re over-doing it?

How many times have you gone to an event only to see peoples’ eyes buried in their phone or iPad? Here are a few recently that I’ve encountered: School play, movie, concert, football game, wedding reception, dinner, and my all-time favorite so far, funeral service.

Now for me to say I’m not a social media junkie would be a lie. No one rocks a selfie like me (as my mom, she HATES it when I take a selfie although it's usually for work). So while admitting my own fault, I ask you this: Are we there yet? Are we to the place as a society where we don’t know HOW to talk to anyone else or make good conversation? Is it easier to send someone a text rather than call them or write them a status on their Facebook wall even though you’re sitting RIGHT NEXT TO THEM??!?

I was recently out at a restaurant and made a couple of observations. The first was a mom and daughter who were clearly on a girls’ day. The girl was trying to talk to her mom about her day at school and what her friends were doing/saying. The mother had no response. Mom’s eyes were so locked onto the phone that her little girl could have gotten up and left and she (mom) wouldn’t have noticed for at least 20 minutes. Here’s the worst part: the little girl (I’d guess she was 8 or 9) was heartbroken. She’s got mom all to herself for the evening and they’re supposed to be sharing special time together. No distractions of school or homework or, let’s assume, dad or little brother (I can say that by the way, I’m an annoying older brother). Just her and mom. This little girl was devastated. After trying to talk to mom a couple more times, she just gave up and started coloring on her place mat. She looked hurt and rejected. It hurt ME to see it.

The second was a date between two mid-twenty-somethings. They were trying to make awkward conversation. “So what are your hobbies?”, “Oh, you’re the oldest? Nevermind. I remember you saying that now.” This lasted about four minutes and then they both went back to their phones. Didn’t really talk to each other much the rest of the dinner.

So I put it to you: Are you engaged the RIGHT way? Do you still know how to carry on a real Person-to-Person conversation when one arises? Are you one of those people who has to share absolutely everything, every hour, every day people? Are you engaging your children and those around you in non-technology-driven interaction? Does the thought of being away from your phone for more than 20 minutes cause you terror and profuse sweating? There is help. There is an answer!

Put down the phone. Pick up the conversation! Try it tomorrow, only for a day. Then try for two days next weekend. You might just learn more from a five minute conversation than you’d ever learn from scrolling through a Newsfeed for hours.

Now that I think about it, this would make a great status update!

Justin Roberts
KGAN
Weatherman

Hidden Money Clues

The money that was hidden under the cover of night on October 9 has not been found! 

A few people have asked for another clue so here are two new clues…

Clue number one:  Let's go for a stroll just U-N-I at the center lets stop. As we enter the doors, oh what a surprise, no books to be seen on this floor. Up the stairs to the stacks to my favorite industry reads the dollars are hidden with glee. 

Clue number two:  Not inside biding but under the cover of metal I hide. 

Clue number three:  Did the person who created the hidden cash gimmick create a US marketing trend or one day will he be considered one of the pioneers in marketing?   

The only thing I ask in return for the $25 is for you to take a photo of yourself with the money and post it on Twitter with the following message:

@hethkely I found #KellysFreeMoney #Free$Friday kellylheth.blogspot.com

If you do not have a Twitter account, please visit kellylheth.blogspot.com and post a message informing everyone that you found #KellysFreeMoney #Free$Friday.

Happy Hunting!

It’s All Going to Work Out, By Guest Blogger Natasha Chughtai

I would like to introduce guest blogger, main television news anchor and one of my closest friends to Fortitude, Grin & Grow...Natasha Chughtai. As a public relations/advertising manager, I met Natasha while launching a new menu for one of the restaurants owned by the casino where I was employed. Natasha was an anchor at a local news stations, attended the launch party and we were fast friends. Since that day, we have laughed and cried together and had some FANTASTIC times. Natasha is one of the bravest, most positive, persistent people I know, and I am so blessed to have her as a friend. 

Kelly Heth & Natasha Chughtai
at Sturgis in Cedar Falls, Iowa

It’s All Going to Work Out
Guest Blogger - Natasha Chughtai

All my life I have been seeking adventure. I am in a career where I move every few years. I am amazed at the resilience I have. I was a shy child who never wanted to talk to anyone. My parents were so worried about me that they took me to a few Doctors to see why I was so afraid. In class I was the quiet one with few friends and very reserved. Now I am in a career where I travel the country alone and have to adjust to new people, situations and places a lot. When I look back on it all-I wouldn’t change a thing. But I would tell myself that everything is going to be okay-because it always works out in the end.

I remember when I first moved to Cedar Falls and I was sleeping on the floor of my duplex with no idea how I was going to get anything figured out. I was starting a new job, worried about making impressions and had zero friends. I missed my old life in Oregon so badly and I wanted nothing more than to go back there. Then just a few short months later, I had met some great people and was really enjoying my work. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other-life works out. You have to have faith and you have to believe in yourself.

People-actually complete strangers will come into your life just when you need them. Next thing you know they are helping you in all sorts of ways. Take the help and lean on them. They are true gifts from the Universe. As I get older I see that there are no accidents. That statement is so true. Go with the flow in your life and believe that it’s all going to work out in the end. Trust me it’s true.

Same thing happened in Alabama. I moved here and was so scared that I would never make any friends. I remember writing text messages to old friends saying that I should have never come here. I should have remembered my own advice. It always works out. Now I am 6 months in and I have a great group of friends here and I am meeting new people daily. You have to immerse yourself wherever you go. Do not sit home and feel sorry for yourself. I promised myself I would always say YES to invitations. I am willing to try new things. And be kind. Being kind and inquisitive of people will get you far. Be kind and offer to do things for people. Make sure it comes from your heart. Anything you give in this world will come back to you. Volunteer, make a child smile and do it all to widen your heart to love.

These are just a few things I have learned on the way and trust me-I am still learning.

Natasha Chughtai
WTVY
Evening Anchor

Young People Deserve More Credit

As I prepare for an evening of movies, games and snacks with my four favorite young people – my nieces and nephews, Trent (20), Travis (17), Halie (13) and Tristen (11) – I began to think about the messaging we hear about young people. The news, social media and television programming are filled with stories about entitled, coddled, disrespectful, and narcissistic young people. 

Judge Blasts ‘Gross Disrespect’ of Teen Suing Parents

Teens Arrested in Video Beating of Mentally Disabled Man

Teens ID'd in Cruel ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Prank

Sometimes peppered in the middle of these terrible stories we may hear about some exceptional young person that by some strange miracle broke the mold. I know plenty of young people who broke the media mold. Below are a few examples of young people who "broke the mold".

1. The first time the professor asked us to get a partner for in-class work my heart raced a little. What kid wants to be partnered with the “old lady” in class? Much to my surprise, students have asked me to be their partner every time.  
2. This semester, I took my very first online test. And, when I was unsure about the online testing a classmate offered to help me get the computer set up.  
3. Once upon a time, I had a graphing calculator, but I have no idea what happened to it. I have been holding back from purchasing a new calculator in hopes that my old calculator will miraculously appear. It hasn’t appeared yet, so I have been using a basic calculator for all of my assignments and tests. Last week, a student in my stats class offered to let me borrow her extra graphing calculator.  
4. The students in my classes have been great! They have talked to me about their projects, vented about tests and offered to help me with homework.  
5. My oldest nephew, Trent, randomly mowed my lawn. 
6. My nephew and niece, Travis and Tristen, helped my dad with projects around the house. When they were done, they stopped by my house for a random visit.
7. My niece, Halie, volunteered for multiple Muscular Dystrophy Association events, and spoke beautifully at each event about her struggles with Muscular Dystrophy. 

Sometimes, young people aren’t given the credit they deserve. 

Why do we put young people to a different standard than we put adults? I have met a number of young people and adults who could be described as entitled, coddled, disrespectful, narcissistic and impatient. However, it seems like we put more spotlight on the worst of the young people. Why? 

If you know a great young person or you are a great young person tell me! Shout their/your praises and share in the comments below. 

Don’t Judge & Hate. Empathize & Love

I have always worked hard to be an empathetic, open minded person. The kind of person to advocate for those in need and stick up for what is right. I would have been hurt, angry and offended to be called judgmental or lacking empathy. However, that is exactly what I was, judgmental.

I wasn’t the kind of person to judge the homeless person on the corner, other religious affiliations, races or cultures. I was the person who judged the jobless, the people on unemployment. I used to think people on long-term unemployment or the people who were jobless for more than six months were lazy. I couldn’t understand why they couldn’t find a job in six-months and I thought it had to be because they weren’t trying. Why would “they” work when “they” could get paid to stay home and not work?

It wasn’t until I was forced into that very situation that I realized how wrong I was. The first unemployment check I received shocked me into the realization that if I didn’t get a job immediately or have savings, then I would never survive this unemployment, because my monthly unemployment benefits were far from enough to pay my bills. I desperately wanted to find a job, so I knew with 100 percent certainty of my financial future. If the financial uncertainty of joblessness didn’t push me toward finding a job, then the treatment I received from the employees at the unemployment office sure would. The underpaid, overworked employees, who were used to dealing with the frightened, stressed out jobless completely lacked empathy. In every interaction, I was treated like an idiot trying to take advantage of the system. If only they understood, I would have done anything to not have to be on unemployment. As I sent resume after resume and went on interview after interview I realized that I am now the person I once judged so harshly.

I’ve learned a lot since I lost my job, but the lesson I am most proud and most ashamed to have learned is to never judge. It is so easy to form an opinion about a group, situation, etc., but until you are standing knee deep in it you have no idea. Remember to empathize and extend yourself to think beyond the first impression and judgment.

Don’t judge and hate. Empathize and love one another, and together we make a better community.

#Free$Friday, Can You Find It?

Thursday, October 9, under the cover of night, I have hidden the first of two hidden cash packages (each cash package contains $25). Once the first cash package is found, then the clues for the second hidden package will be announced.

The only thing I ask in return for the $25 is for you to take a photo of yourself with the money and post it on Twitter with the following message:

@hethkely I found the #Free$Friday $25 kellylheth.blogspot.com

If you do not have a Twitter account, please visit kellylheth.blogspot.com and post a message informing everyone that you found the #Free$Friday $25.

Clue number one:  Let's go for a stroll just U-N-I at the center lets stop. As we enter the doors, oh what a surprise, no books to be seen on this floor. Up the stairs to the stacks to my favorite industry reads the dollars are hidden with glee.

Happy Hunting!

The envelope containing the hidden money

Job Interviews are Like School Dances

These days, I have been going on a number of job interviews, and one thing I noticed is job interviews are a lot like middle school dances. You spend days and even weeks preparing for the big day - talking to friends, getting the dish on that special someone, picking out that perfect outfit and maybe even practicing your dancing skills. The night of the dance comes and it is time for all of your hard work and preparation to come to fruition. You walk into the dance looking fantastic, hoping that special someone will not only notice you but pick you.

Not everyone can be the queen of the dance and get her guy, but below are a few tips on how to prepare to make you unforgettable competition and make sure you get what you want.

1. Get to know the company:
1. Do your research! Research the company history, mission, brand values and products/services. The first thing I always do is read the company’s website and social media outlets, and then I move to a broader search of the market and competition. Like when you research that special someone, don’t forget to talk to your network. Sometimes your network has the best information, advice, and even insider information.     
2. Analyze the job and the company
1. Review the job description and what you have learned about the company to determine the top 10 assets, skills and experience you possess that line up with the company’s needs and wants.
3. Practice, Practice, Practice
1. Look up potential questions, prepare answers and practice. Ask your friends and family to help. For extra practice, every time I have an interview I ask friends and family to pretend they are interviewing me.    
4. Dress to impress
1. Be prepared. Look your best, dress professionally and bring copies of your resume and references.
5. Ask questions
1. The interview isn’t just about the company learning more about you. It is also an opportunity for you to learn about the company, its culture and the position. Remember, just like at a dance, just because someone wants you doesn’t mean you have to want them back. So, ask them questions and learn.
6. Thank you
1. Always remember to say thank you. This is a great opportunity to thank the company and interviewers for their time and to reiterate why you would be a great addition to their team. The thank you note is also a great time to discuss any topics that you would like to address.

Now that you have the tools for success, get out there, look your best, be prepared and grab that crown.

 

Hidden Money Gimmick: Does it work?

The first gimmick I would like to test is the hidden money gimmick. This gimmick has exploded over the last couple years, but does it work?

Below are a few examples of mircrobloggers using this tactic (one user is, right here, in the Waterloo/Cedar Falls area):   

• Precieux Art Jewelers Has Hidden Treasure, $1,000 in actual cash
 
• Millionaire Hiding Envelopes with Cash Around San Francisco with Help of Twitter
 
• Twitter User Hides Cash Around DC

This week, I will hide $50 somewhere in the Waterloo/Cedar Falls, Iowa area. Once the money is hidden, I will publish a blog post containing a clue to help you find the hidden money.

Check back often! Happy hunting!

Do Gimmicks Help Increase Page Views?

We have all heard of the microbloggers and bloggers who have gotten big attention by using gimmicks and giveaways. Do those gimmicks really help increase page views? If so, do they help with long term viewership?

Those are the big questions. So let’s give it a test. This October, along with my regular blog content, I plan to include a gimmick. Gimmicks include giveaways, hidden money, contests, celebrity posts, etc. Each week, I plan to post at least two posts. The first post will announce which gimmick I would like to try, and the second post will include where, what, when or how you can participate.

What is in it for me, you ask? The answer is simple. You get a chance to receive cash, prizes, knowledge and hopefully have some fun. What’s in it for me? I get to test a hypothesis, obtain some new insight, introduce my blog to a broader audience, and hopefully have some fun.       

So let’s get started. What gimmicks have you tried? Or, what gimmicks do you think I should try first?

Excellence Is Just Past Your Comfort Zone

Within the last year, I interviewed for a marketing director position, and at the conclusion of the interview I asked them what they considered to be their biggest marketing obstacle. They told me they had always had great success building relationships with organizations. They would fly into a city, bring delicious food and drinks, have a great time and by the end of the visit they’d have large orders. However, now that strategy is no longer working. The world is moving faster and no one has time for that anymore. We spoke a lot about traditional, social and digital advertising. During the conversation, I mentioned that digital advertising is very powerful and it is accounting for over 50 percent of many marketing budgets. I also told them traditional advertising has become antiquated; however, it still has a place in the media mix. The interviewer's response was traditional advertising is dying, but it isn’t dead yet; and we are going to keep using it. That one statement told me it all. That company is so afraid of venturing outside of their comfort zone they would rather continue with a strategy they confess is no longer working.  

These interviewers aren’t alone, we have all been afraid to step out of our comfort zone and try something new. It is what we do when given the chance that makes the difference between growth or stagnation, success or failure, excellence or mediocrity.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a constant work in progress.

·         Start small: 

o   You don’t have to shock your system with huge changes, baby steps will help, too. You can start with things as small as trying a menu item, restaurant, or sport. Or,   something new every day and integrate what you’ve learned in your life.    

·         Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself:

o   Everyone respects someone working toward improvement. Even if you fail, make a mistake or temporarily embarrass yourself, you will never be a fool. Just keep trying! 

·         Don’t be afraid to fail:  

o   Even if you fail you succeed, because every failure comes with a lesson. Some of the best insight and education comes from mistakes/failure.    

What have you done in order to move outside of your comfort zone?

Small Gestures, Big Impact

Normally, I write about business, the workplace or the marketing industry, but something in my life stopped me in my tracks. My niece told me she read my “How to Handle the Wicked Witch” blog post, and she told me she could relate. She told me that my blog post sounded a lot like middle school and what she was going through. Now, we all remember middle school, and we all know that kids are exceptionally cruel during that time. However, it broke my heart to hear that she was being made fun of or being bullied. We had a long talk about what had been happening to her, and after our conversation I thought about how lucky she is. She has amazing, supportive parents, friends and family who she can talk to about whatever hurts her, and every one of those people would go to bat for her if needed. I told her she was lucky and then I told her this story.

I was a very lucky kid. Yes, I was made fun of at times, but no more or less than any other average kid. When I was in high school, I was in a very small computational science class that consisted of maybe eight kids, two of which were girls. During the semester, the high school math teacher and the high school librarian, who taught the class, took the class to Iowa State University for a computational science event. Since the class was so small we could all fit in one van. If you know anything about Iowa State University you know that there are farm animals leading up to Ames that are used for educational purposes. As soon as one of the boys saw the cows he yelled, “Look! There is Kelly. Mooo!” Today, I can’t remember which boy yelled the statement, but what is burned into my brain is both of the teachers laughed. I was so embarrassed by the teachers’ laughter that I never told anyone…until now. I told my niece this story, because I wanted her to know that she should never be too embarrassed to tell her family anything, one day the cruelty of middle school will fade, and adults are not always right and kind.

I’m telling you this story, because I can’t tell you enough how much impact you have on the life of a young person. If you hear or observe teasing, taunting or bullying please don’t laugh, ignore or walk away. Please help! Your kind words, playing a game, watching a movie, helping them with their homework, going to their events or offering a listening ear can all have a momentous effect on the life of a young person.

Sometimes the smallest gestures make the biggest impact. You can make a difference, and you can make the world a little brighter.

 

Me (circa 1997, high school)

Building Confidence the Stuart Smalley Way

Does anyone else remember Stuart Smalley? He was a character created and performed by Al Franken for Saturday Night Live. Maybe this video will help ring a bell.

                                                              http://youtu.be/6ldAQ6Rh5ZI

I remember watching his Daily Affirmation comedy sketch as a 13 year old girl and thinking OMG that guy is a dork. Now, many years later, I still think this guy is a dork, but I also think he may be on to something.

There are moments in every person’s life when they struggle with self doubt and lack confidence. Every time I lead a new project or faced a new problem/decision I had to fight through self doubt. My mind began to flood with thoughts like:  Is this the correct decision? What will the haters say? What will happen if this is wrong? Will I cost the company hundreds or thousands of dollars? Will I get written up? Will I get fired? Will I cost the company revenue? Will it hurt the reputation of the company? Will it hurt the reputation of the marketing department? My thoughts went on and on, and eventually, I was able to squash the self doubt by doing the following:

• Identify your strengths and weaknesses
• We all have strengths and weaknesses, and it is those weaknesses that tear at our confidence the most. Identify your weaknesses and work on improving them. Every time you grow and overcome a weakness, your confidence will grow, too. However, remember, to integrate your strengths into everything you do. Using your strengths naturally boosts your self confidence, and it will also keep you energized as you are working toward self improvement.   
• Remember your successes
• As humans we have this crazy ability to focus on the negative and ignore the positive. However, we are the culmination of both our successes and failures. When you are facing something new, remember all of the great work and judgments you have had in the past. When I self doubt I think of three specific successes that were particularly hard, and I remind myself that I managed those projects and situations successfully. If I could come out of those projects or situations with great success, then I can do anything.  However, when I can’t take my own word, I let others speak for me. Every time someone sent me an email or card congratulating me on a job well done, I keep them for this type of occasion.
• Stuart Smalley was right
• Hard work and experience help dull the noise of self doubt; however, nothing quiets it more than positive self talk. Stop, take a deep breath and take inventory of the situation. Then remind yourself that you are a successful, experienced professional and you can do it.

I was able to squash the self doubt, but not totally kill it. I am extremely confident in my decision making, experience, knowledge and talent. However, I am only human and there are moments when a desire for perfection can get the best of me and make me question myself. When this occurs, I remind myself of my successes and strengths and move forward, because as Stuart Smalley said…

I’m good enough

I’m smart enough

And, doggone it, people like me

How to Handle the Wicked Witch

I have been in the workforce for nearly 20 years, and one thing I have learned is the workforce is a lot like the Wizard of Oz. There are people like Glenda the Good Witch, working to guide you safely down the path to your dreams. And, there are people like Dorothy’s other three friends Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion and Tin Man giving you knowledge, courage and heart on your way to success. However, for every friend there is a foe. There is a Wicked Witch of the West and her band of minions waiting to gang up on you, steal your ideas, blame you and erode your self-esteem. And then, there is the Wicked Witch of the East, always looking to keep you down in order to help herself up.

If you are lucky you only meet Dorothy’s friends on your journey to success. Unfortunately, I have met them both. However, those terrible experiences have given me the tools and the experience to protect myself and persevere down the yellow brick road.

• Have you met a Wicked Witch?
• At times, the workplace takes a thick skin. Tempers flair, disagreements occur and stress can turn anyone into a temporary Wicked Witch. These interactions are interactions that need to be ignored and chalked up to a bad day. Like in high school and the Wizard of Oz, the Wicked Witch may make everyone’s life hell or bring others in to help with their shenanigans, but they usually pick one person in which to focus their attention. So, if you find yourself singled out to hostility, threatening, abusive, humiliating, intimidating, and sabotaging behavior then you have met a Wicked Witch.  
• Stand up for yourself
• Stay strong and don’t let the Wicked Witch erode your self esteem. Stick up for yourself and calmly let her know that her behavior is unacceptable, unappreciated and will not be tolerated. Don’t get into a fight, but stand up for yourself.   
• Ask for help
• If your attempts to try to calmly put an end to the behavior are not working speak to your supervisor. If your supervisor allows the behavior to continue then go to human resources.
• Move forward 
• If all of your efforts melted the Wicked Witch then be ready to work on repairing your working relationship with your teammate formerly known as the Wicked Witch and move forward. However, if all of your efforts do not quell the Wicked Witch then maybe it is time to leave and find a new job. Dealing with these type of temperaments, interactions and environments – let’s call it what it is, BULLYING - can harm your health and mental health. So, take care of yourself and bring your experience and knowledge to an organization that can and will provide you with the safe environment you deserve.    

Luckily, in the movie, the wicked witches get what they deserve. But in real life, the wicked witches are resilient and the water and the house don’t kill them. However, you can move from I’ll get you my pretty to we’re all in this together.

Have you ever been bullied in the workplace? If so, how did you handle the situation?

 

Dear New College Graduates

After college graduation, I had an idealistic view of what the workforce would be like. I thought everything I learned in college was 100% correct and the way everything had to be done. I thought a degree meant the end of demeaning job duties. I thought a job in my chosen field meant I would make enough money to support myself. I thought I was qualified for a marketing manager or director position. I thought people would want to teach me. Boy was I wrong! My salary was barely enough to support myself. There is NO training in marketing – it is sink or swim. What I learned almost immediately is from press releases to marketing plans EVERY organization does it differently. A degree entitles you to nothing. The degree opens the door, but you have to pay your dues in order to clear the path to earn your way up the ladder.

How Kelly Got Her Groove Back

I wish I could say that I lost my groove in some love gone wrong, and it was magically returned to me during some tropical vacation with a muscle bound hottie on one arm and an umbrella drink in the other. Unfortunately, my story is not quite so glamorous.

My groove was lost September 2013, but I guess you could say it was starting to go a little before that date. September 2013, one of the worst days of my life, was when my job of six years as an advertising and public relations manager was eliminated. I was completely blindsided, and for weeks I couldn’t believe it was real. Every day I desperately tried to wrap my head around what just happened. I mean, how could my position be eliminated when I have always been so swamped with work. Every night, I cried myself to sleep and dreamt that they asked me to return to work. For months, I was an open wound. A once social person, I avoided my friends and meeting new people. I didn’t give a lot of thought about what my true passions consisted of; the only thing I cared about was finding a job.